He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
