Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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