I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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