I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
