Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
