Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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