did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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