porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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