if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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