K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
