she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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