Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
