White coat. Heels.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
