Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
