Dual....:-)
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
