ugly people sure do ruin things
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
