my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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