Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
