I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize