how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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