I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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