Your tits are I can't wait for
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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