is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
