If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize