So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
