Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
