Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
