I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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