they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
