I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
