Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dicks are not precious.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
