covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
