Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
