Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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