I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
