So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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