My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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