We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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