Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I had to cum in my sink.
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