I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
