Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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