Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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