On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
we're so committed to being not committed
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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