$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
