just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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