no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
