Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
please don't ironically join a cult
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