Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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