so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
