I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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