I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
