woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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