Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize