Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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