Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we're making bets on your personal life
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
