Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
