I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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