I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
