wat bout pragnant strippers??
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize