i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
