I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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