1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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