His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
